Today started off okay.  Woke up early and took my dog for a mile walk.  I feel disgusting.  Then came home and ran a mile on the treadmill.  Felt a lil better.  However, just ate dinner...too much so I forced it back up...now I feel worse.  

*IwishIwasthin*IwishIwasbeautiful*IwishIwaswhatIamnot*

I'm really depressed...I want to be wanted....I'm sick of feeling like shit.





GoodSide:  I've lost 7 lbs since Sunday...I want to lose 3 more before this Sunday...make it 10 for the week....god willing

Current Mood: crappy
Current Music: Carrie Underwood (how depressing can you get?)

Today, I've been really sick.  Dunno if it's because I ate so little yesterday or if I have this stomach bug going around.  Anyway, I threw up all night, a plus for the new diet I suppose.  I just wish I would feel a lil better.


5-8 crackers- <10 cals
8 oz Ginger Ale- 90 cals
water- 0 cals
baked potato- ??

exercise= none, been too sick...

Current Mood: sick

Cheerios/Milk- 250 cals
Lean Cuisine- 250 cals
Snake Pack- 100 cals
Water- 0 cals

Total- 600 cals

Exercise- none (too depressed)


Tomorrow will be better...limit 400 cals and at lest 1 mile on treadmill...

Current Mood: disappointed

Today is one of those rainy, horrible days that makes you feel awful about yourself.  I've gained over 45 pounds since I got into college.  I'm about to graduate and I'm 157 lbs and only 5 feet tall.  I'm disgusting.  I use to regulate my calories and myself so well.  College allowed me to slip into depression where they hyped me up on different anti-depressants.  I felt out of control and still do.  I need to gain control over myself and my body; I want to be beautiful and thin.

I started this account to find support and have, for the past hours since it's creation, researched and requested to be parts of several communities to allow myself to get back on track.  I'm desperate and I need help to reach my goals...30 pounds by the April and more from there.  I've tried to do it on my own and I just can't. I feel alone.

Current Mood: depressed
Current Music: Anna Nalick